You’ve probably noticed that I haven’t been updating my blog as often as I used to, or as often as I’d like to. Every month I tell myself that this is the month I get my shit together and start posting more regularly. And I’m really trying. But university and work aren’t going anywhere, and every day seems to bring a new thing that keeps me from uploading.
And I was seriously considering apologising for it. This was going to be a post explaining myself to you. Saying how busy I am, and how sad I am that it’s negatively impacting my blog. Both things are true. But why should I apologise for it?
As much as I wish I wasn’t a university student, I don’t really have the option of being otherwise. And while I could give up my job, becoming a broke shut-in doesn’t really appeal to me. I might care more about the future of my blog than my university work, but I still have to pass. And while I do love my job, it takes up about half the free time I used to spend blogging. With what little time I have left, I kind of just need some time to look after myself.
So often I compare myself to bigger bloggers and berate myself for not posting as often as them. I feel like I’m a failure as a blogger because I’m not dedicated enough or not working hard enough.I forget that there’s a big difference between our lifestyles. It would be a lot easier for me to post three times a week if I wasn’t studying and only worked two or three days. And when you consider that I have two YouTube channels, most weeks I actually AM posting three times a week, just across different platforms.
I work extremely hard on my blog, and give it as much energy as I possibly can, to the point where I’m almost constantly stressed out. How can I still tell myself I’m not doing enough? At this point in my life, any more would completely wreck me, physically and mentally. How can that mean I’m a failure?
This post is starting to become a little too full of self-pity for my liking, so let’s cut to the chase. I’m definitely not trying to get sympathy; I just know that I can’t be the only one who feels like this. Here’s what I want you to remember:
You are not a failure for not working harder than you physically can.
It sounds obvious, but I think it’s something we all forget from time to time. There’s only so much you’re capable of doing, be it because of time or just the state of your mental health. Do what you can, within the realm of what’s physically possible for you. But stop killing yourself trying to do the same as someone who has a lot less on their plate than you.
And this doesn’t just apply to bloggers. It might mean not having as much time to train as someone on your sport’s team, or not having as much time to study as someone in your class. Everyone’s circumstances are different. And what’s possible for other people isn’t always possible for you. Whether or not you’re getting straight As, or lifting 50kg weights, or blogging every single day isn’t what matters. What matters is taking the time and resources you have, and using them to produce the best work possible. That’s what it means to work hard at something. That’s what it means to be successful.
Now I suddenly feel like this post has taken a turn for the depressing, rather than the inspiring. But getting my feelings about all of this out has been a really important reminder for me to stop being so hard on myself. So I’m hoping reading this will help you out as well.
I cannot stress enough how important it is to pat yourself on the back for the things you do achieve, rather than cutting yourself down for the things you don’t. Be proud of all the work you do, instead of telling yourself you’re a failure. It’s difficult to shift your mindset, but when you do, you won’t believe the difference in your mental state.
Jumper: Zara (old)
Dress: Edgars (thrifted)
Shoes: Cotton On (thrifted)